Let’s Talk About | Lack of Commitment

Last updated on 9 August 2026

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I’m not talking about commitment in a relationship (I’ll leave that to those who are a) in a relationship, and b) know what they’re talking about), but rather commitment in terms of letting your yes be yes and your no be no. I’m talking commitment to friends and acquaintances, events and meetings. I’m talking about not being flaky and blasé about situations.

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.” – Peter F. Drucker

I’m talking lack of commitment.

I don’t know what it is about my generation (and perhaps the one below as well), but it seems these days that nobody can commit to one thing. They leave you hanging until the last possible moment when there’s no likelihood that a better offer will emerge from their vast quantity of friends and acquaintances. And I wonder why that is. What is it about this generation (20s and 30s perhaps? Perhaps teenagers too?) that we don’t say yes and mean yes?

Yes, Maybe, No.

The word ‘maybe’ should be eradicated from our vocabulary. The noun can stay, the adverb can go.

Remember the days in our childhood when it would be our birthday in a month, and we would invite our friends around for a party that involved cake and candles and balloons and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey.

There would be invites weeks earlier; they would be hand-delivered or sent in the post, there would be an RSVP date at the bottom so you would know how many sausage rolls to cook. People would receive the invite, RSVP yes or no, put it in their diaries, block the day out. Very few things would deter them from that plan once it was in the diary.

There was no ‘maybe’ option back in the day. Perhaps this is something we can blame Facebook for. When attending an event on Facebook, the options are Going, Maybe, and Not Going. Why on earth is there a ‘maybe’ option? The Interested option is better, granted, as it allows you to keep track of what’s happening with an event or show, you’re ready to receive updates. But a Maybe? Here’s technology trying to limit our decision-making* once again.

The fear of missing out

Ah, yes, FOMO. I’m the first to admit that I get FOMO. I definitely want to go to events and shows and head out with friends, and if for some reason I can’t go, then I am bummed about that. I do get that feeling of missing out on something. But there’s a difference, I think, in not wanting to miss out on things because you want to be in the post-event stories and nod along when someone says ‘hey remember that time?’, and actually not wanting to miss out on things because you simply enjoy the company of your friends.

When people say ‘maybe’ to something, they’re in this FOMO land where if they say yes to hanging out with you, then something way better comes up that clashes, they’ll be missing out on that great thing because they said they made plans with you. The fear of missing out drives people to maybes.

Let your yes be yes

Recognising the fact that sometimes you just don’t know if you have your Great Aunt Petunia’s 95th birthday that weekend because your mother hasn’t confirmed the date yet, there are times when you simply can’t know for sure that you’ll be around and available for a certain date. But in those situations, is it not polite to tell your host so? A little common courtesy goes a long way, and it’s something that is slipping through the cracks.

Putting those Great Aunt’s birthday situations aside for a moment, if your weekend is free and you’d love to be a part of what your friend has just proposed, make a commitment. You’re free? You’re keen? You’re in. Simple. Don’t wait around until something you think might be better comes along.

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What do you think?

Do you think I’m overreacting? Ranting about something that you haven’t seen in your peers? Maybe (there’s that word again) you don’t think lack of commitment is a problem, rather just a natural response to society where it’s at in the 21st century.

I want to know what you think. Let’s talk about it. 

*I honestly believe that decision-making in young people has deteriorated. But that’s a post for another day, perhaps.