Let's Talk About How People See You

Last updated on 26 October 2016

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase with one of these links, I recieve a small commission at no additional cost to you. Read the full Affiliate Policy.

“Do you ever think about not ever being able to fully see yourself? Like, you can never see yourself the way other people see you.”

That’s what my friend suddenly said during board game night the other week. The answer to her question: No. No, I hadn’t even thought about it. Until now.

But, thanks to her random outburst, I now have. Bear with, for a moment.

Online quizzes for getting results like ‘which Disney princess are you?’ (I’m Belle, by the way) or ‘what colour are you?’ (I’m yellow) often include a question or two like ‘how do your friends describe you?’ The options are things like funny, intelligent, encouraging, lazy, adventurous, and while we can sort of guess to a degree what they might put, we could be completely wrong. Thankfully, it’s just a fun quiz online that means nothing and shouldn’t affect how we live our lives. But it does make you think – what do your friends think of you?

You can ask them, of course you can, and if your friends are true friends then you’d hope that they would tell you if you were doing something or acting a certain way which they didn’t agree with, like, or think was good for you or those around you. But we can never really be sure that a) what they are saying is true, and b) that’s that all they’re saying.

Being locked in one’s own mind means we can never truly know what the other person is thinking or feeling. Therefore, you can never really know how they see you. You can’t pop into their mind and see yourself through their eyes (and perhaps you wouldn’t want to). Despite the popular and perhaps over-used saying, putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes isn’t as easy as it may sound.

You can learn to empathise as best you can, you can try your hardest to imagine what they might see, but you’ll never truly know.

I didn’t really know where this post was going when I started writing it. It’s sort of ended up as a stream of consciousnesses on the subject (or off the subject, as you may perceive it). But nevertheless, it was something that I started thinking about, and had to jot down.

While it’s an interesting concept, and an idea I hadn’t really thought about it, I don’t think it bothers me. I know what I hope people see when they look at me – a good friend, making the most of things, loving, friendly and welcoming, courageous and kind etc etc – but at the same time, it’s not something that’s going to keep me up at night. People will see what they will, and while we can work hard on who we are, who will might grow to be, I think it’s important to know who you are in yourself.

It’s important how you see you.

What do you think? I’d love to know. Does it bother you that you can never see yourself how others see you? Perhaps you disagree? I know nothing, really, these are just some thoughts prompted by a games night question. Let’s chat! Comment below and let me know!